I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
