you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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