New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
