I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
