well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
