hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
