yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
