Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
