big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
