A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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