I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
