then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sext me about skeletons
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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