wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's a naked man in my car right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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