I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
