The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
