you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
