I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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