I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
