Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
