is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
