It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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