Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
