You don't have asthma, your pregnant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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