He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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