and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
