porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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