There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
