My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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