I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
