We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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