somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
