...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
sex in a hospital.. check
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
