forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
