I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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