He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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