I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
its not stalking. its research.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
