You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
