Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
