ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.