why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
