Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize