Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
