1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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