nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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