the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize