I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
