"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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