1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize