He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
