i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How does one acquire holy water?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
