I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize