And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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