I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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