well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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