addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
