Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
