Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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